Everyone enjoys good Chinese food. Let's face it; some of us have to have it at least twice a month maybe more. The food can be great, it's those fortune cookies that bother me. Do the fortune cookie people think they are fooling us? Oh, it's fun to get them. There you are, with your friend, at the end of the meal and your server brings you the check and, of course, the fortune cookies. There is a slightly awkward pause as you look and silently ask, "Which one will I choose?" "I want a good fortune today." "What piece of information does this brittle treat hold that will change the course of my life?" 

Does it really matter which cookie you pick up? Absolutely not, because the message inside is the same. All of the fortunes statements are nice and uplifting and could apply to anyone. Wake up people! No one has ever gotten a fortune message that has rocked there existence. You would think that we would all have caught on by now. Here are a few that I have received recently.

• "Your Luck is about to change." 
• "You will soon inherit a piece of land."
• "The respect of influential people will soon be yours."
• "You have an unusual magnetic personality."

Who in there right mind would refuse such wonderful phrases as the above?

Everyone wants to believe these things be true and are going to happen. Look, I am all for good positive encouragement but how about a few "real" fortune statements thrown into the mix just to shake things up a bit. That would make this end of meal ritual more exciting. Real statements with a certain honesty that grabs your attention and makes you think. Can I suggest the following?

• "You have a great smile but a breath mint wouldn't kill you."
• "People like you most when you're sleeping."
• "That joke that you've been telling for the last week really isn't all that funny."
• "Car neon is not cool."
• "The tie you always wear looked great in the 60's." 

Hey, it's just a suggestion. Why not dish out a little dose of reality once in a while? I have never really gained the respect of those influential people, and it has been several months now. I think my personality is magnetic but I wouldn't call it unusual. What does that even mean? Stop feeding us the polite generalities and give us something we can work on. Until this happens, I will be waiting here, for my luck to change. Perhaps I will get that piece of land I've been told about.