Inter Un-Active Dating
by Ali Ashton
aashton@armadamag.com


The world has changed with the presence of the World Wide Web. We can research anything that our mind is capable of thinking, we can Google practically any place, thing, idea or even the most outlandish phrases or acronyms like “MILF” and oodles of data comes up. So with this great tool of knowledge we have now focused our dating efforts into this great beast. As we trust a CPU with our love lives, a common computer turns match-maker.

For the past two months I have been locked and loaded and “available” on one of the most popular dating sites around, Yahoo! Personals. I have my profile created and fun pictures that revealed my personality. I perused the Want Ads for singles in the area to see what it had to offer. Not much I have to admit. The only hotties I found never replied to my innocent attempt to start a conversation. My theory, these model-type pictures of men is exactly that, pictures of models posing as single men drawing in the single ladies! My reasoning to back my theory, I came across another good looking male picture and it looked identical to the guy on MTV’s Real World Seattle with the crazy different colored eyes. And it makes sense for Yahoo! and/or other online personals portals to lure us into their evil web with hunks…that aren’t available! Hey, that’s the real world for ya. (Pun intended.)

Besides my first gag at this site’s lack of customer service I decided to use up my $19.95 to the best of my ability. That sounds sad looking back that I paid to meet people when in all seriousness I don’t have time for my own friends let alone making new friends. (Ironic what we do for finding love) Anywho, within the first month I received a fairly large amount of emails and “icebreakers” from men. Icebreakers are exactly what it sounds like, someone can send you a quick “nice smile”, “wanna talk,” or “am I your type?” message and you take it from there. A good portion of my messages came from men that didn’t even take the time to actually read and adhere to the type of person I am looking for. Calling all Men 26-32…not all Old Men ages 40 and above! I don’t think so Dad! Stop reading my profile and go help your kids with their homework, yuck.

One message did stick out of my mind. A 43 year old foreign man named Michele with the personals title of “I sing.” He sent me an email with the following song:

...Everyone has a compass in their heart
To help them find their way
A target as is hit by a dart
For direction is but an attitude to each day
Sometimes the blindest of them all
Are those who have love staring them in the face
Never realizing the call
Never seeing their perfect place
Some follow their culture and hope for the best
Others follow their hearts and attempt the most difficult test
Age and experience dictates the former to be the easy road
When one does not chose to take a risk
Does one close their eyes standing by the falls and still feel the mist?
Life is too short not to experience the shiver of love
Seek the answer as you would the fit between hand and glove
Love could be around for years
Before we chose to hear its melody
What else is there to do but let go of our fears
Only then can we hear the notes to our own symphony
Kicking the sand as we walk on the beach
Feeling the rays on our bodies as heat
What else can one ask from a warm spring day
Than to hold another's hand and silently dream...
No matter what the reality that lies in our heart
Write my name in the sand but carve it in your heart
Put your hand on my body but feel it in your soul
Remind me each and every day that we should not be apart
Remember that parts are merely that until they are whole......

My lovely new friend,
I hope you have the desire to write to this far italian.
I won the green card and I have my US address in Atlanta( I'm very often there: Ill be next time 5/10). I was watching on my computer and...your eyes, difficult to forget, are still in my thoughts with special tenderness. Here in my “cold " office right now there is a special light a sun ray that makes my day better to live: thank you , thank you my sweetest ...
Sometimes we are so blind or just we want to be. Sorry for my uncertain English (one of my worst mistake is to tell the truth always even if it costs me really too much sometimes). You are really very pretty. I hope to receive some news from you. In any case thank you for this pill of happiness in my fantasy I just trusted my heart’s compass…

YOUSA! I never replied and by default I am miraculously sending a “special ray of light” into his “cold” office. Should I be nervous about being in his “thoughts with special tenderness?” Thank goodness for the Atlantic Ocean or I would be halfway through restraining order papers for Mojo over here.

All in all I have learned a few things from this adventure. Online personals are deceiving the public by fooling us with who actually is online. Other than that I really didn’t meet any significant others or eye catching possibilities. To tell you the truth, I spoke with a few guys here and there, but I would be terrified to actually plan on meeting them! Online dating just isn’t for me. I guess I am old fashioned and like to. My experience: Dating through megabytes really bites.

Ali
aashton@armadamag.com