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Successful Women Intimidate
by Ali Ashton
aashton@armadamag.com

Read the responses from men below article.

Is it just me or do the women who have their heads on straight and making it big, shake the testosterone right out of men? I thought women who are independent and have it together were attractive. So why is it that these ladies with skills and competence seem to have the reverse effect at times?

With my own personal experience and from what I have gathered by readers, getting ahead in the business world and seeing the negative effects in their personal life aggravates women. When along comes some type of non-definitive relationship sitting on their doorstep, the man runs for the hills because she threatens his 'breadwinner' status in the partnership. Hmmm, sounds like chicken poop to me. He might wear the pants but he surely isn't filling them.

One of armada's readers, Tammy, emailed me with this very predicament with a story of her own. She claims "Men can often be intimidated by future goals and aspirations of the women they are dating. My friend Jo, for instance, had a conversation with her last boyfriend about what she wanted to see in her future- graduate school in a few years, moving to D.C for a career in politics, climbing the corporate ladder. Two days later, the relationship was over, with a casual 'our future plans don't fit together' excuse. Looking for an answer, she asked her close male friends if they found her intimidating to men. To her surprise, she was told she was 'too opinionated, too success driven, and too focused and outgoing.' This, of course, equaled intimidation to men. Since when did success and opinions, and future plans become so unattractive?" 

This particular reader also has a similar story. Tammy said, "I work for a well known non-profit organization and my career last year has skyrocketed. This move and my independence have scared men away from me. I would like to think that I am pretty easy to approach but I have been told different. My independence and confidence scares men. As a successful young woman I find myself attracted to men who are successful, but there is one problem, they find my success and independence overshadowing to theirs and my relationships end very quickly."

It seems we have a case of saying one thing and acting another. Men want a woman to be independent, intelligent and motivated to succeed, but once romance is involved they recede back to wanting to be the provider and the woman falls back into the stay at home mom role. Men are from Mars and Women will always be from Venus, but will there ever be a planet where we collide and actually mean what we say!? Until then, we will have successful businesswomen here in Atlanta and other cities around the world still single and waiting for the day where a man can tolerate her beauty and brains all wrapped up in one package.

Please send comments and your own stories to: aashton@armadamag.com

In response to "Successful Women Intimidate"

Note from Ali: Successful Women may not intimidate all men. Some have responded to me with rebuttals, and just as I suspected, a few off-the-wall comments if you will. I admit, my articles can be a little biased and based on a woman's perspective, but let's face it, I am what I am! So I wanted to turn the tables and shine the lights on some of the men in Atlanta and their thoughts based on my column, "Successful Women Intimidate."

Let's begin...

"Successful women are attractive, but in my experience they often let work rule their lives. Successful men usually have better "balance" between work and personal life, or maybe they just seem to be able to work a date here, or a lunch there, into the whole life schedule better. 

It is a huge turnoff when a woman cancels on you because of some work emergency, then she waits for you to reschedule or take the initiative"

— E.J. - Marietta, GA

"I like smart, successful chicks - especially those with blonde hair and big....[treasure]...chests. I like smart, affectionate chicks - especially those with nice cars and tight....[don't smoke and put out cigarette]...butts . I like smart, independent chicks - especially those with sexy eyes and are multi...[talented]...he, he, he. 

Your following statement is 100% without merit, then: "...When along comes some type of non-definitive relationship sitting on their doorstep, the man runs for the hills because she threatens his 'breadwinner' status in the partnership. Hmmm, sounds like chicken poop to me..." Are you kidding me? If I can have all of the above (the proverbial cake), and a "breadwinner"(the proverbial icing), it ain't getting much better than that, sweetheart!"

— Scott -Atlanta, GA

"Send Jo and Tammy to me. I'm hugely successful and love intelligent women. 

I'm also the best looking guy in my cube."

— Chad - Atlanta, GA

"Seriously though the answer to your friends question is very simple and girls should know this by now but guys are very competitive. They always will be and when it comes down to who is more successful guys will want to be the more successful one because since the time of cave men they have been the bread winners. I am not saying that it is right, but I am saying it is the nature of men. I know women will get upset about it because we are supposed to be in a world of equality, but just because we are told that is what we are supposed to do for 10 or 20 years doesn't erase thousands of years of instinct that has developed. Some men will claim it doesn't it bother them so they seem more renaissance, but I guarantee you it does."

— Brandon - San Diego, CA

There we have it. I guess it comes down to each individual relationship. Some men are comfortable with "successful" and some men may not be. 

For any other disagreements on past articles, or if you feel like starting a dispute of any kind, please feel free to get the boxing match started and email me at aashton@armadamag.com. My gloves are already warmed up.

Ali Ashton   :)