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Keeping it in the Closet!
by Ali Ashton
aashton@armadamag.com

In this day and age we are swarmed with television shows and even the news talking about odd behavior, weirdos picked up in Atlanta performing crude acts, movies scenes with role playing and getting a bit more risqué and even talk about underground sex parties. This century is definitely making a move towards sexual imperialism and breaking down barriers of keeping everything in the closet regarding sex. But are some of these actions a little too much to handle? Fetishism is cool for the people who enjoy themselves with these peculiar acts, but harmless onlookers may not be sold.

What's the deal with men jerking the chicken in the car while driving? This happened to me recently and I must note this is NOT the first incident! It is uncalled for and needless to say brutally repulsive! What type of reaction is this guy looking for? A date? Should I roll down the window and ask if he needs a hand...oops he already has two working overtime for him. Well, I pretended I didn't notice him or his actions and then he got away Scot free with his perverted antics. I looked for a license plate on his faux pas puke colored Taurus, but Mr. Misdemeanor thought ahead and already took the sucker off! Typical move for a guy knowing his behavior would not be conducive to societal standards.

Knowing that fetishes are usually created by an interest in a certain body part of a male or female, a mere peek at a breast or the site of a brassiere can leave someone sexually stimulated on the spot. No touching or anything, just a glance at cleavage will do! Common fetishistic objects that might interest you are fur, women's gloves, women's stockings (a.k.a. panty hose for those living in this century), women's shoes, and especially the women's underwear that we are about to touch on. (Sorry, not literally!)

Has anyone run into that guy snooping in your top drawer of your armoire? Maybe this is just a movie thing. I can picture it happening in my college dorm or a sorority house with a black mask wearing fool called PantyMan. I haven't had this happen to me (that I know of) but we did study it in my college Abnormal Psych class. I am not sure where the panties go but I am sure there is a sick ritual performed with them. I can understand the attraction to the sexy pieces of lingerie. Maybe these men are just jealous that women get to have all the fun wearing silks, satins, lace and barely there strings and things!

In fetishism, an inanimate object or body parts serves as sexual gratification and replaces normal interest in usual sexual activity. I am guessing masturbation falls into this category if using any toys, but if your toy is battery operated, you're outta' this category, buddy!! (That would cross the lines with the animate vs. inanimate object theory.) But you can still enjoy yourself I am sure!

Get this! I picked up a Washington City Paper (equivalent to Atlanta's Creative Loafing) while in D.C. and read a very interesting and yet disturbing article in the "Savage Love" section. A guy pretty much had an infatuation with finding pubic hairs in public urinals and would collect them and take them home. After sterilizing his new collection of goodies he would lay them on his mouth and his tongue and proceed to. um, shall I say 'rise to the occasion?!' His reason for sending this awful information into the publication was to ask if this was "normal!?" Allow me to take a stab at that and say, "Hell no that's not normal!" Ew!

So fetishes can be a bit bizarre to those who do not take part in them, but there definitely aren't any barricades holding those wackos back from accidentally including us in their fun! I guess for now we will have to let them slip away until we catch them with their pants down!

Ali Ashton
aashton@armadamag.com