:: armada magazine ::

Who Wears the Pants?
Answer these 6 questions and find out...

by Ali Ashton
aashton@armadamag.com

The ongoing war, argument -- or smart ass comment -- of who really wears the pants in the relationship is an everlasting question. Do you really know who takes control of your relationship, which partner has more of a say so, and who bosses the other one around more? Who is the almighty ruler? The President, the Leader of the Pack, the one who wears the Schwarz?

Take this quiz and find out who dominates the relationship. Is it you, or are you the inferior mate?

1. Scenerio: You and your mate are taking a stroll in the city. On the right side of the street there is a clothing store you want check out, on the other side is a biker/boating store that your other half wants to cruise into. Which one(s) do you check out?

a.	Go to the fashion store because it's a "ladies first" relationship and then hit up the other store...briefly.
b.	Go to the biker/boating store first then try the "poor me" technique at the boutique and win over a new outfit for being so bored at the previous store.
c.	Split up and go to each store separately to save time and please both parties.
d.	Just go to the biker/boating store because he deserves a break since he works so hard.

2. You're having a dinner party and all the food is prepared, table is set and guests are starting to arrive. You:

a.	Greet everyone at the door while your companion offers the first drinks and hangs out with pals.
b.	Tell your darling to answer the door so you can put some fresh makeup on and pour yourself a glass of wine.
c.	Wait until the anticipation of welcoming everyone to your party and then summon your honey to get a drink for you.
d.	Welcome guests as the happy couple you are and trade off on keeping each other's glass filled.

3. Summertime usually means parties at the lake. You have offers to go with your friends or you can go to your lover's company boat party where there is talk about honoring your mate for a recent success. You:

a.	Go to the boat party, there will always be lake parties with friends; your honey needs to be in the limelight.
b.	You've had a rough week at work so getting far away from anything work related is priority. Cocktail Cove here I come!
c.	The company boat party is momentous; it's not every day you are recognized in front of your colleagues. It's a 'Support Your Mate' weekend.
d.	Play "paper, rock, scissors" and winner decides.

4. Monthly bills are paid and there's a disagreement in how to spend the extra money saved by managing your budgets better. You suggest a vacation since you both deserve a romantic getaway, but your mate wants to invest the money. What do you do with the extra cash?

a.	If you can't get your honey to go, plan a trip with your friends. You won't ruin your summer just to save a few extra dollars.
b.	Invest the money in savings or an IRA account and start planning a trip with the money you make with the investment.
c.	Save all the money and when you are both financially ready a vacation will come.
d.	Save all the money, but continue to sulk and make comments when other friends go on a vacation.

5. You are debating on where to go to dinner. You are in the mood for something a little spicy and your mate is in the mood for an all American burger. You:

a.	Go get a big beefy hunk of meat on a bun and spice up the evening later at home!
b.	Your mate hangs with your cravings and finds something on the menu that satisfies his palate.
c.	Go out to an American-fusion restaurant and please both.
d.	Ditch dining and order pizza, its fast and easy.

6. It's a couple date night with some of your friends with plans for a nice dinner and maybe a little dancing. Which scenario fits your relationship best?

a.	While getting ready you are totally ready to go, but it leaves you time to dress your honey or it will look like disaster on a stick.
b.	There's always a little someone in the bathroom taking years getting ready... which is understandable considering all the beauty products can make a catastrophe look good.
c.	You both do your own things in your own time and fashion. Individual sinks, two separate closets, sometimes even separate showers. ;)
d.	You are on time and off to an eloquent dinner and driving, but your darling still has to be a passenger seat driver.

To figure out what role you take on in your relationship, add up your points with the following score sheet:

1. a=1, b=2, c=3, d=4
2. a=3, b=1, c=2, d=4
3. a=4, b=1, c=3, d=3
4. a=1, b=3, c=2, d=4
5. a=4, b=1, c=3, d=2
6. a=1, b=2, c=3, d=4

If you scored 6-9, you wear the pants. Is this a good or bad thing? Sounds like you may have a dominating and bossy which also might not be so attractive. Why not try doing more things that you mate wants. It can bring you closer together if you understand where s/he gets her interests and why.

If you scored 10-15, your relationship is based on mutual decisions. Both sides have equal input, mastering the perfect formula to a healthy relationship. Egalitarianism is safe and respectable.

If you scored 16-20, whether it's denim, khakis or linen, your mate wears the almighty pants. Your pleasing ways tend to make you the lesser of the two. Start making more decisions and plans that you want to do. Step up to the plate and bat. If you swing and miss, at least you are attempting to be a bigger part of the game.

~ Ali
aashton@armadamag.com