Date Goes Sour
by Ali Ashton
I have never been the one to go on a blind date, however,
when my opportunity came through a local radio station, I
thought I would give it a whirl. I couldn't quite
figure out what was so bad with the idea of being live
on-air along with oodles of men wanting to take me out on a
date that is paid for by the station! Hmm, pick and
choose...I can do that!
I chose my date after the grueling Q&A round, on-air
segment. "Shaun" came to pick me up that
Friday evening for our broadcasted blind date. Nerves
were bouncing all over when thoughts took over like,
"what kind of guys would call into a radio station
looking for dates?" Too Late!
"Shaun" just drove into my apartment complex (not
to mention he drove in the clearly marked EXIT gate - look
out! We have a bright one here!). First
impressions were good, he was cute, brought me a long stem
red rose and a little blue box that he wrapped himself as a
comical gesture that the real Tiffany & Co. will not be
making an appearance this evening!
"Shaun" and I had a terrific dinner and scooted on
out to a club to get our already tipsy dancing shoes on.
I must say that I know I have some rhythm from my dance
background and have the authority to comment when someone
completely lacks the art of boogie. My date proved
that night to be one of these stick figures with his 6-step
move, repeat, repeat, repeat! It reminded me of the
annoying animated clipart pictures with one movement that
recurs over and over again! We parted on good terms
and with the idea to potentially hang out again. If
worse came to worse I could hook him up with my own dance
The next weekend I called to say hi and Mr. Monster Mash was
so plastered that he handed the phone to a random girl to
converse for him! Whatever, from that point I only
wanted to make sure he had a safe ride home. Sunday
morning rolls around and he leaves me a voicemail in a rude
tone mumbling unimportant blah blah blah's. I replied with
telling him his "sweetness just wore off and to take
care." I thought my hands were wiped clean until
the little third grader called with another cheesy and
obnoxiously loud message saying, "I'm ALL about
the sweetness baby, ALL about the sweetness."
I, of course, let it go so I don't have to play any
games and waste time with checking voicemail, even though
they are slightly entertaining! Lone and Behold, Mr.
"Shaun" calls again Tuesday night to ask if we had
broken up! After one date! Not wanting to
investigate and determine if sarcasm was in play, I just
stuck with the belief that he made this call from a place
So when it comes down to a book report on my one and only
blind date of the decade, it went well. The date
itself couldn't have been any smoother. The person I
went on the date with on the other hand, a bump on the old
log...and probably still reading "The Little Engine
that Could." But at least he is trying!
Good luck Partner!