You have lost your purse multiple times in the night.

Girlfriends are fighting over the same guy, and he is not cute.

If there are numerous stops to the bank, gas station, drug store - to pickup cigarettes, people just plain old procrastinating and waiting for more people to join the entourage, and you are already annoyed before you reach the bars and clubs, just go home. 

You whip out your fake ID to a cop, he asks your birth date and you say May 12th, 2001.

The urge to strip down your clothes gains more and more interest.

The cute guy in the dark bar turns un-cute at the 24-Hour Landmark Diner.

It's dawn and you share breakfast with churchgoers.

Smoking has just become a new habit...but for some reason you have forgotten the fact that you are allergic.

After relieving yourself and notice yourself standing in a wet puddle, you realize the toilet seat is still down.

Waffle House looks clean and homelike.

Earlier in the night you wouldn't sit on a bar stool because it was icky, but now you are lying on the bathroom floor and calling on the porcelain Gods.

You feel as though bar dancing is a good profession and you definitely have potential. (Yeah, I really liked that Pee Wee Herman move...can I see it again?)

You think an orange clowns wig is attractive and you resume your previous pickup tactics.

Your new fake number begins with 1-900 or 911. 

1.

Your testosterone is on a high and you think picking fights are cool.

2.

You find yourself outside a club on a street corner with 50 balloons magically placed in your hands.

3.

You are wearing a wife beater and its winter. Just don't wear any cutoff shirts in general. Period!

4.

You perform "Jackass" stunts thinking you can be on the next reality TV show.

5.

You wave an entourage of women into a bar like you are a pimp, when they are your sister and her friends. (Face it, we notice these things boys!)

6.

Or you hit on your sister...

7.

IHOP becomes a meat market.

8.

You awake from a blackout and you are somehow amidst Mickey, Donald and Goofy welcoming you to the magical world of Disney.

9.

Hugs are mistaken for WWF moves.

10.

You fall asleep in a car, parking lot, bar or outside on the side of the curb. Get a Cab!